Relationship of words
Communication in the couple can not be reduced at Work: "Men are from Mars and women from Venus" or neurobiological explanations of the left brain of the woman whose potential would be much more developed than those of man, and his right brain.
Although these approaches may be relevant and the second verified by neuroscience, the fact remains that too popularize, "scientification" and / or widespread, it no longer reflects the human singularity.
Indeed, there are women who do not communicate, and men who know exactly verbalize their emotions.
Some marital functioning using communication as a tool of harassment, blame, mythomania, verbal abuse ...
Other couples do not talk, so to speak it.
Other examples could be broken ...
So the language and words have to get as next:
- From school, readings, more generally the various learning
- From what has been received, given, shared
- Representatives within the family,
- In his social, cultural origin of the person,
- Possible trauma
- Diseases that affect cognitive abilities,
- From unconscious processes,
- Meetings conducted during his life,
- From the desire of the person,
- From the interaction of those who communicate.
- Etc ...
Like the uniqueness of the individual, the couple will be as unique as it works.
We can not create a cookbook!
For example, how to apply the communication, it is so beautiful in books, to a person who can not put into words a feeling that is said or blocked?
What "meaning" to give the communication in the couple (again according to some books) when it is qu'agressivite, reproaches, and the challenge of ever-manipulative guilt, shame or uses the other to better exist? ...
However, it is indeed a type of relationship!
What to do when the person does not want to put into words?
Etc ...
Every man is a sacred story that puts into words for the book in its history ...
This is also the setting s'occasionne the words or meetings ...
It is learning that some (s) can make or have acquired, but where others can not have or do not want ... in fact, in addition to factors mentioned and which are not exhaustive, this summons the freedom and the desire of man ...
Thus, there is nothing simple, because it depends certainly an achievement, but also lived, the way each of the awareness that one is so ...
So whether you are single, couple or whether you are practicing in couples therapy, it seems essential to focus on people in a holistic manner and not on any "distortions" that could be stigmatizing ... be vigilant to the famous advice stereotyped!
Humans are complex and it is also what makes it rich.
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